The ladies of Lesbian Vampire Killers

Lesbian Vampire Killers is a comedy horror starring James Corden and Mathew Horne, released theatrically a couple of years ago, which last weekend received its television premiere on BBC Three. It loosely reworks the Carmilla vampire story by J Sheridan Le Fanu that also inspired the Hammer trilogy which began with The Vampire Lovers, continued with Lust For A Vampire, and concluded with Twins Of Evil.

Lesbian Vampire Killers isn’t as good as any of the aforementioned forty-year-old Hammer films. The script is let down by copious amounts of gratuitous swearing while the leads lack charisma. They have little onscreen chemistry together, despite their television comedy partnership. If you haven’t seen Gavin And Stacey, you may recognise Corden from his recent appearances opposite Matt Smith in Doctor Who, over its last couple of seasons.

The most consummate acting in Lesbian Vampire Killers is from former Doctor Who Paul McGann. The Vicar is clearly a substitute Van Helsing. Paul plays it straight, the only way to succeed in a spoof. The lovely ladies are led by MyAnna Buring, also familiar to followers of Doctor Who as the doomed Scooti Manista in the David Tennant episode The Impossible Planet. She has previously received much acclaim for her co-starring role, trapped underground with a group of women, in Neil Marshall’s claustrophobic horror The Descent.

Femme fatale or ingénue?

Clearly goading schoolteacher John Stape in his own classroom, Rosie Webster probably deserves everything she gets! John’s kidnapped the floozy once before and he’s about to do it again, this Wednesday to be precise! Can you blame him for being so enamoured, when such a voluptuous vixen shoves her feminine charms right in the poor fellow’s face, or should he lead by example and show a modicum of restraint?

All will be revealed in Coronation Street at 7.30pm on 26th October!

Breasts for breakfast!

Helen Flanagan is leaving Coronation Street after playing Rosie Webster in the soap for twelve years. She is the second actress to take the part, joining the cast when she was only nine years old! It’s possibly not the best environment in which to grow up. Now 21, she will continue filming until December, and be seen on-screen until February, 2012.

Not long ago, Helen took three months off work after suffering panic attacks. She clearly catches everyone’s eye, with her ample assets, though, recently, has had her hair restyled, which she claims makes her feel more like a woman, less like a girl. Personally, I preferred her with long locks, but it will be interesting to see where her career takes her.

If Doctor Who ever needs, or wants, a companion in the mould of Nicola Bryant’s Peri then look no further, Miss Flanagan’s your lady bountiful!